Guide to
by Ayamari Uta
Summary: This is declared COMPLETE! Sorry for the inconvenience. # Dende gets ahold of a book. End of summary. #
1. Chapter 1

A/N: EVERYONE READ THIS: ALL MY STORIES ARE GOING TO BE HIATUS FOR A WHILE. I am sorry, but my heart just isn't into writing, or anything else for that matter. I am in a state of depression. Don't worry, if you are one of those people who talk to me, I'll force myself to stay with the conversation normally, as if nothing was happening. This one shot was made just as a last writing before my pause. I forced myself to do it, so if it isn't good, well, I apologize. This is a series of one-shots, which are going to continue later on.

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><p><span>Guide to Teenagers<span>

"Gohan!" An angry voice yelled in the skies. Gohan gulped. For the great prince of all Saiyans, he sounded quite angry. It was only some rare times when Veggie- uh, Vegeta called the teen by his name.

"I am so in trouble!" He said frantically, looking for a place to hide as he flew. Normally, the air would calm him down of all of his troubles. The gentle sky, the breeze, the scenery...

It was perfection every time his feet would lift off and touch nothing but thin air.

But this time, Gohan actually found himself frustrated at the sky. Why did it have to have so much gravity? He couldn't fly faster.

"Kami help me." He whispered.

'_Sure thing, Gohan!_'

Gohan looked at the sky as he came to a stop. "Dende?" He asked uncertainly.

"_Who else is Kami?_"

"Good point." Gohan agreed. "Well, I need to hide!"

"_What did you do Gohan?_"

Gohan cringed.

"_Come on Gohan!_"

"It's not important."

Dende sighed. He had just gotten a book to understand Earthlings better, called; _Facts about Teens._

You'd think that he wouldn't have read it after the subtitle said; _Perfect for dates!_

But…

Nope! He didn't read the subtitle, since he is Kami, and Kami knows everything, and Kami says subtitles are not important, which MUST be true if Kami said so. Makes sense?

One of the things he read was…

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 1: Boy Language<strong>_

_If a boy says that something is not important and looks troubled, then encourage him to tell you._

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><p>Dende, being Kami, concluded that the book was right. And since he is Kami, that is true.<p>

"_Come on Gohan."_

"No. I need to run."

"_You'll feel better._"

"No thanks."

"_But it is good to let it out."_

"No, Vegeta will kill me if I say anything."

"_But this must be something important._"

Gohan felt Vegeta's ki come closer by the second.

"No Dende, I need to leave." He said, trying not to lose his cool. He needed to leave, but being the polite boy he was, he couldn't be mean to his friend.

"_Tell me. I won't bite._"

"No Dende, I need to leave!"

"_But-_"

"Heiscomingcloser!"

"_Come on-"_

"DENDE! FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI, STOP IT!"

"Y_ou need to let it out._"

"NO! He is coming closer!"

"_Tell me."_

"He-"

"-is here."

Gohan slowly turned to see the smirking older prince. The 17-year old gulped.

"Oh crap."

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><p>AN: Yeah, like I said, my heart isn't into writing. I am so sorry for the inconvenience. This is a collection of one shots, so it will continue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I am back! And I am really sorry I left! D: I can only be in a slow laptop for a limited time, so I may not be able to thank all of you wonderful people who wait for me. If there are any. I do not blame them. =( Let's go on with the story! I could not help but make a part 2. :D

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><p><span> Guide To Teenagers Part 2<span>

"He is in the hospital?"

"He is in the hospital." Popo affirms while nodding his head up and down, his creepy eyes staring at Dende. Dende looks down as shame displays itself on his face.

_Poor Gohan..._He thinks, showing a disappointed face.

Dende decides that he will not try to help Gohan like that again and rips out the first page of the book. Then he flips it to the second page.

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><p><strong>Meanwhile...<strong>

Gohan screams in pain, scaring Goten.

"What, big brother? Are you okay?" Goten asks, with concern. Gohan shakes his head violently.

"Take the book away from him! From the green midget! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Goten sweat-drops and backs away from the bed his brother is laying on.

"You know something, Gohan?"

Gohan stops screaming and faces Goten. "What?"

"You are weird."

Sweatdrop.

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><p><em><strong>Back in the jungle- I mean the lookout... (Song reference. XP)<strong>_

Dende reads out loud to himself, lying on the floor, with the book open in front of him.

_"Chapter 1 Boy Language Part 2 ... If a boy avoids you, then it means they want to talk to you but are too scared to do it."_

Dende thinks about how Gohan avoided the conversation from earlier and how he ignored him for Vegeta.

It looks like Dende did not learn from his experience with Gohan, and decides to give the book another go, since it makes sense. And since it makes sense to Kami, it means it will work out fine. Dende smiles innocently, and closes his eyes.

"Gohan... Oh Gohan..." He calls telepathically.

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><p><strong>In the hospital...<strong>

"Go away! Go aaaaaaaaah-way!

Goten blinks at Gohan's sudden actions and stands up from his seat. "Gohan! What is going on with you today? Did Trunks' dad hit you too hard?"

"Nooooooooooo!"

It looks like Dende should let Goten know what is going on, but the young Kami-sama shrugs that idea off, determined to try to help Gohan first.

Goten thinks that Gohan is speaking to him, not to Dende.

"Are you sure?"

Gohan looks up. The last time someone said that...

A flashback of Dende's voice saying that appears in Gohan's messed up head.

"Dende…!" Gohan says in a warning tone.

Goten, surprising for an innocent child, finally understands.

"Oh cool! You are talking to Dende! Is he coming to play with Trunks and I again?"

Dende and Gohan both pause and shudder at Goten's idea.

Yet again another flashback appears. For Goten, a flashback appears of Trunks and he chasing Dende for a nice game of tag. There are thousands of candy and colours in the background. A full of fun paradise.

For Dende, two demon children chasing him, while laughing evilly. Volcanoes and Frieza in the background.

For Gohan, there are only deep shades of black and a big pain on his head. That's right, the frying pan. Chi-Chi blames Gohan to this very day that the three apparently ruined her house.

Dende shakes his head in disagreement, remembers Goten cannot see him and says into his young innocent head, "No Goten."

"Why not?" Goten, who wants to play, whines.  
>"Because no." Dende says simply, and thinks that Goten will not question him any further because he is Kami.<p>

Right?

"But we had fun last time!"

Wrong.

Goten sulks as he hears no further response. Gohan ruffles his brother's hair, smiling.

"Thanks kiddo, at least you made him be quiet already-"

"Gohan, I sent Bulma and Vegeta to go help you get to the lookout." Dende hears no response.

"Uh, Gohan?"

A scream loud enough to get to Planet Namek is heard throughout the universe.

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><p><strong>In New Namek…<strong>

"Hey, did you hear that?" A Namekian says, almost in a dramatic tone.

"Could it be…?" Another responds, looking at the sky while holding his shovel.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FRIEZA!"

That's right buddies, Gohan is screaming like a girl.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: I feel like this ending sorta sucked. Oh well. I hope it was a good one, I apparently have writer's block again. Well, if you excuse me... *Starts breaking the writer's block with a stone*


End file.
